You wake up in the morning and there are these thoughts that never stop. Some of them come to you daily, some come to you occasionally and some come to your every hour, every minute. It’s a self-talk that you do for your entire life.
It keeps running on your mind. You know it’s not your heart or gut but your mind that keeps running like a tape or a movie. It’s on autopilot. Even you are responding to these thoughts and doing a self-talk, as if there are two people.
Right?
“There is a narrative that keeps running on my mind. Something just pops up. I know it is my mind and not my gut or heart.”
Are you actively thinking about them? I think no.
Are you letting them shape your life, your mental health, relationships, and career? I think yes.
Are these negative? I think sometimes they are.
Do you want to change them? Very much.
In this article, I’m going to talk about the
- what self talk really means, what it does to your life
- what is the root cause of a negative self-talk and repetitive self-talk
- what impact it has on you
- what you can do about it to change your life
What self-talk really means, what it does to your life
Our mind does two things. One is, it runs when you run it and the other is, it automatically runs on what you feed it regularly.
Self-talk is dependent on both these functions of your brain.
Self-talk is what you keep saying to yourself and what you regularly keep saying to yourself.
In the past, if you kept saying to yourself that you will never win, you are a loser, you are not lucky enough, smart enough, beautiful or rich enough, it will just automatically throw the same thoughts, reinforce the same self-talk that you think is automatically erupting on your mind.
Similarly, if my self-talk is that I will do better next time, I have it in me, it is achievable by me then your mind will automatically run this for you.
When you put the positive, you will get the positive and when you will put the negative, you will get the negative. By now you must be really of what is uploading on your brain, that is driving the story of your life, but remember, you still have the choice to change your negative self-talk and regularly repeat the good thoughts and good visions for a better life and better outcomes ahead.
What is the root cause of a negative self-talk
You know that you are powerful, right?
Because this knowledge is important to know, so that you can think better, feel better, do better, and get better. We may not realize but there are other things apart from us that drive the story of “our” life.
It’s our childhood, our parents, our teachers, friends, neighbors, experiences, colleagues, spouse, school, college, university, jobs and many more. The people around you mostly, are also driving the self-talk inside you.
Who you talk to or who you get inspired by looking at has a lot to do with your self talk. Even if there are good and encouraging people around you, you may think negatively about yourself.
The point here is, in order to uplift yourself, you need to change your environment, your company and your thoughts so that a positive self talk is built naturally. At the same time, you can choose to have a positive self-talk when you are in a difficult life situation, because that’s going to make a lot of things easier.
Secondly, the repetitive self-talk is nothing but an accumulation and belief you have over your past thoughts and experiences. They just pop up to redirect you to think in a certain manner. It is your job, your duty to respond to that thought in a mindful manner.
Examples
Let’s us now understand this. Let’s take my example. My name is Tanishka.
I have this negative self-talk that runs on my mind almost daily.
- I’m not popular, people don’t come around me, they don’t include me.
- It’s difficult for me to achieve my body goals.
- I’m not getting the attention I want.
- I’m reaching nowhere.
Now, how we change this? How do I turn it into a positive self-talk?
I’ll daily replace these thoughts with,
- I’m a popular girl, people like me and my company. They like my intelligence and feel amazing around me.
- I’m daily reaching towards the body I desire, it’s coming
- I’m taken care of myself and everyone around me. I love myself.
- I’m steadily moving towards the life I envision.
This is how you understand them and transmute them in your favor.
How to stop the negative self-talk and change your life
This is not an easy activity or task. This is a big task. You need to first audit your entire life and see what beliefs you are having about life, about other things.
Your interests, your career, your purpose, your health, your relationships, your aspirations, everything.
It is a practice, an intentional practice that you have to undertake. Let’s start one by one.
- Be mindful the entire day for 30 days- Just observe. Just observe your thoughts. See what your impulse thought is towards a scenario or situation. That way you will understand that you think in a certain way. You will uncover the hidden thoughts or beliefs you have about your life that’s showing up regularly.
- Make a list of those beliefs- Write them down and have compassion towards yourself. Why you felt this way, what hurt does it bring up. Feel those emotions and let it sink. Increase the self-talk here.
- Start turning the negative statement into a positive statement- After realizing where you were going wrong, start making a list of the positive statements and the beliefs you want to imbibe. And slowly incorporate them in your self talk.
- Plan your self self-talk- Is it something you will do in the morning? Personally, I do it when I’m travelling. I close my eyes and talk about the things I want. I repeat affirmations and visualize them. So, check which time suits you. Even throughout the day, observe your thoughts.
- Say nice things about yourself- Believe that you deserve to live the life you imagine. Make it a daily habit. Own it up. Take your life in your hand. Change the story completely.
Conclusion
If we think that life is not going the way we want, then ask yourself. Are you being the fork on your own road? If your answer is a yes, then you know that you need to work on your self-talk, your mindset, your beliefs, because these are your superpower.
Talk gentle to yourself.
Talk beautiful things to yourself.
It will work!
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