You must have tried hard to be confident.
Maybe you bought more clothes, more accessories, did extra work, put extra efforts, learned extra skills and did an extra of everything to feel confident.
It felt difficult sometimes to keep the same unwavering and unshakeable confidence that you derived.
There is nothing wrong that you did. It definitely adds up to your life.
But even if such things didn’t work and you are struggling in a never-ending cycle of once feeling confident but then other times feeling stressed, unsure, doubtful, not enough, not worthy, or competitive,
No worries. I have got you covered.
In this blog, I am going to talk about
- What is confidence truly?
- From where does confidence come from?
- Ways to be confident in good and bad days
- Closing thoughts
What is Confidence?
Ask yourself one thing.
How much do you love yourself? Do you love yourself enough? Are you willing to look at yourself in the mirror and say that,
“I love you a lot. I will always be there for you no matter what. People may come and go, I will continue to love myself and have the compassion towards myself. I’m worthy, I’m enough. I can be anything, I can achieve anything.”
If the answer is yes, then confidence building is not difficult.
But if the answer is no, then confidence is some steps away.
In my opinion,
“Confidence is an outcome of how proud you are about yourself. It is a byproduct of being everything you desired to be and achieve.”
Yes confidence can be derived from external factors, but most importantly, it must be derived from what is inside of you.
- The way you think
- The way you speak
- The thoughts you have
- The beliefs you have about yourself
- The inherent value which you hold just by being a human being
It is a belief in yourself that you can be confident, regardless of what you be or do. It is based on the person that you are.
From where does true confidence come from?
In simple words,
“True confidence comes from the truth you are telling to yourself. That truth is based on the stories you tell yourself, the beliefs you hold.”
True confidence is based on the internal evaluation of yourself and an external behavior or attitude that you display or embody. Like I said, true confidence is a belief that you are something in your eyes, regardless of what may come.
If it was a bad day, a bad relationship with yourself, a bad relationship with food, a bad year, an unsuccessful period, a failed relationship, a bad outcome, or a bad feeling,
Your confidence will help you to move through the bad and get on with who you are as a person and the belief that bad days are inevitable, that you will rise, one day. It is all the internal voice, the self talk you have about the existing work of art you are.
Signs that you are underconfident
Before understanding the ways to be confident, what are the signs that reflect a tone of underconfidence?
- Constant comparison- A person who is underconfident will find newer ways to constantly compare the self with others. Even if the person has good qualities or has accomplished much in life, the person forgets those in front of some confident people. Read my blog on how to compare yourself with your past and not with other people.
- Fear of failure- When we don’t believe in our ability to thrive and fear that bad things will happen, we hide in our shell, feeling low and underconfident.
- Staying distant from people- When under confidence looms, a person will stop, take a step back and completely withdraw from people and situations. He/she will try as much as possible to avoid uncomfortable encounters
- Always feeling sorry- The person will keep apologizing for things which shouldn’t be apologized for. Things do happen and it’s not good to be a “sorry” person.
- Always looking for validation and has low boundaries- The person is seeking external factors to feel confident when confidence is derived from within. He/she has no boundaries which are often crossed by people.
- Stress and doubt- There is a sense of anxiety, a sense of lack, which drives the feeling of stress and tension
Ways to be Confident On all Days, Good or Bad
- Ask about the thoughts and beliefs you hold about yourself
Ask yourself. Are the stories you keep telling yourself true? What can be changed so that we can grow in this direction? Am I doing something wrong? What beliefs and perception I hold about a particular situation? Such prompts will help you uncover the negative feelings and thoughts which are ultimately making you feel underconfident.
- Evaluate your daily thoughts that automatically come to you
From morning till night, study yourself. There is a pattern that is playing in your head. You are unknowingly repeating a not-so-helpful story. It is taking you nowhere. Once you spot these negative thoughts, write them down.
- Evaluate your internal and external self
After writing these thoughts, understand why you feel such a way. What happened that has made you look at life like this? Based on this, create a plan to bring an internal and external shift. For example, if you think you can’t speak in front of your team, then do the internal work i.e., study your subject and become an expert in what you will say. Next is do external work wherein you will work on your body language. Like stand straight and wear complementing clothes. Both of these will not only boost your confidence, but will remove the fear too!
- Have strong self belief
Build a strong sense of self. Have strong belief in yourself no matter what. Find your way, find your path and keep walking on it. Believe that you are have anything. Let life happen, never lose the self-belief.
- Think in a positive manner
Positive thoughts bring positive results. Start thinking optimistically. Slowly and slowly, shift your negative thoughts to more positive statements. Make a conscious start. It will take time, but it will be worth it.
Closing thoughts
Confidence is not a feeling, it is an energy shift that you embody, that you become. In the darkest of the darkest hour, it is confidence and self-belief that will help you stay afloat. So, make sure that you master this art of confidence!
Leave a Reply